Bascula
by CaptainMajor
Summary: After a Halloween party, Basta falls asleep with plastic vampire teeth in his mouth...what happens when he wakes up in the middle of the night convinced he's a vampire?


**He valks…like dracoola! **

**Hallo all! How does a cheesy one shot about Basta sound? Good? Good. This is a special one shot… Basta falls asleep with fake vampire teeth in his mouth, and after a night full of halloweenish movies, he becomes convinced he is a vampire! **

**Feel free to review (I accept anonymous reviews) but no negative comments or flames please. Thanks!**

**BTW, Ray Liotta is my model for Basta (as usual). **

"Hello and welcome to the fifth annual Carroli Valley Middle school Halloween party! Movies will start at 8 pm. Please enjoy snacks and beverages." The principal grinned and walked off stage, rubbing his hands together as he approached the snack table. Basta, who was under cover with a black jacket named Gothic, slouched against a wall, and eyed the middle school students in their Halloween costumes.

"What a gay holiday" scoffed Basta, snarling as a girl dressed as a devil passed by him. She gasped and scurried onwards, no longer interested in the slim man leaning against the gym wall. "I'm too old for you, you little b-"

"Basta, _shush_, casual; remember?"

"Don't _shush_ me, you faggot." Basta narrowed his green eyes at his companion, then slipped his fingers into the belt loops of his black skinny jeans.

"Ok, I'll stop shushing you when you stop acting like a badass."

"Well for your information, I am pretty badass."

"Oh, well excuse me, _Biker Bob_."

"_BIKER BOB_? Ok, you've officially lost it."

"Shut up already, you're attracting attention to yourself."

"Story of my life. I'm thirsty, get me some punch."

"If you promise to shut up afterwards, then sure." Gothic turned on his heel and marched towards the punch bowl. Basta rolled his eyes, and tilted his head backwards.

"Mister, are you wearing eye liner?" A girl stood before Basta, dressed as a princess.

"What?"

"Are you wearing eye liner…you know, makeup…" The blond blinked several times.

"Err, no…they're always been like that…" Basta, feeling severely awkward in the situation, frowned, and silently wished for his punch.

"Did you know that a man who wears makeup is called a transvestite? Are _you _a transvestite?"

"What? Do you even know what you're talking about? Hit the road, alright, go play princess or whatever it is you little girls do over in some corner… away from me."

"How far?"

"Enough. Now beat it." She sniffled and left, much to Basta's appreciation. "There you are, took you long enough to get some punch."

"Sorry…" Gothic rolled his eyes and sipped the blood red drink. Basta, who'd never had punch before, relished the taste.

"This is so good" he breathed, his eyes widening as he took in another sip.

"Whoa, slow go on the punch, man! You'll choke." Basta peeked over at Gothic from the brim of the cup.

"I've never had punch before…this stuff is good!"

"Wow…just wait t'ill you get laid…" Gothic pretended to cough when Basta shot him an irritated glance. Just then, Basta began to cough violently, his suntanned cheeks reddening. "TOLD YOU YOU'D GET CHOKED YOU DEPRIVED BASTARD!" Gothic punched Basta in the stomach as hard as he could. A white thing flew from Basta's mouth, and hit Gothic in the face. "OUCH! What's that?" Gothic frowned at the little pair of plastic vampire teeth in his hands. "Nasty" he growled, giving them to Basta.

"What the hell is that?" He heaved, cocking his head at the mouth piece in his large hands.

"Plastic teeth, you know, costumes?"

"You mean some one had it in their mouth?"

"No, dope. It's a prize."

"Oh." Basta shrugged and bit into the teeth. He flashed Gothic a vampireish grin and popped up the collar of his black jacket.

"You're sick" muttered Gothic, shaking his head. Basta smirked.

"Tho do you thee any pwothpecths?" Asked Basta, almost laughing at what the teeth did to his speech.

"Take those damned things out you freak. And no, I don't. Let's stay to the end, maybe we'll see something interesting by then. Ok, the movies are starting. Hold on to your butt." Gothic slumped against the wall as the movie started.

Basta walked home in a trance. He hadn't spoken a word since the start of the movie. He'd never seen a movie before, and the pictures of bats that turned into humans and flew around biting people's necks made him grin like a maniac. The zombies and mummies and skeletons didn't mean much. He found the ghosts relatively scary, but the vampires…they sent a shiver down his spine and gave him a dose of adrenalin.

"Basta, are you OK?" Gothic frowned as he drove towards the village. Basta nodded abstractedly and stared out the window of the van into the darkness, images of bats and fangs dancing in his mind's eye. "Ok man, you're creeping me out… as soon as we get back home, I want you to drag you ass to your house and get to bed…I think someone doped your punch…" Basta didn't reply. "Ok, I'm officially creeped out." Gothic parked the van and watched in alarm as Basta ambled towards his house.

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His eyes opened suddenly, and his pupils widened in the darkness. He shot into sitting position, sweat beads dappling his bare chest. He remained in his upright position for quite some time, recovering from his nightmare. Then, he ran the tip of his tongue over his teeth. He gasped when he realised he had pointy fangs.

"I knew it" he whispered, realising his true calling. He got out of bed, and slipped into his black boots. He quickly shrugged into his black jacket, and popped the collar. He slipped his strong arms out of the sleeves, and tied them around his neck, so he wore it like a cape. He quickly opened the window beside his bed, and spread his arms out while grasping the cape. The full moon shone in his face, and at that very moment, a coyote howled. Basta hissed as he smiled and sprang out of the building. Cats spat and hissed as he ran through the ally ways, his footsteps silent as if he was floating above the worn cobbles. He approached the first house on the end of the street. With a manic grin, he struggled in through the window. He crept through the darkness, and stumbled towards a bed. A sleeping figure became visible as Basta inched closer. He spread his arms out wide, and with a hiss, he bent down low and bit the man's neck.

"YOOOOWWWWW!!!!" Roared the black jacket. Basta quickly zoomed back out the window, just in time to hear the man curse the cats. Basta eyed his next target, a smaller crumbling building. With a swish of his cape, Basta ran onwards, and clambered through the window. He chomped on the neck of his next victim, and scowled at the bad taste. The man swatted his cumbersome arm at Basta, and the vampire man hissed before wheeling away. He wandered the streets for a short amount of time before his eyes rested on Capricorn's house. He smirked, and laughed as Draculaishly as he possibly could. With a swish of his cape, he trudged on towards Capricorn's building. He was young and agile, and easily scaled the ivy covered wall to Capricorn's bedroom window. He perched on the sill, and peered at his victim through the darkness. Downstairs, Mortolla was playing the organ, and the creepy music drifted upstairs, behaving like a theme song for Basta.

"Mmm yes c'mere and we can munch cucumbers together…yes dahling that would be pleasurable…" Capricorn muttered in his sleep, but Basta took no notice. Instead, he crept closer, watching as Capricorn wriggled and moaned. He opened his mouth, prepared to bite, when a woman's scream pierced the quiet drone of the organ.

"WHAAA?" Basta sprung back in alarm. Capricorn turned to look at Basta, a look of pure shock on his ghostly white face.

"BASTA!" He boomed, causing the woman to flinch. She covered her naked body from Basta's eyes and tried to smooth her hair out.

"Uhumahuhh I'm so sorry, sir, I-I-I-I, I don't I-"

"SHUT UP YOU FOOL! What do you think you're doing? WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE DRACULA?" Capricorn's rage was blank and white hot.

"I-I-I-I don't think I'll be able to explain, sir…"

"Well get out of my house and be prepared to explain yourself tomorrow morning!" Capricorn pointed a long bony finger at Basta. "Never again" he hissed, narrowing his eyes. Basta nodded quickly and stumbled out the window. To his great and utter embarrassment, he remembered that he was unable to fly.

**THE END! **

**I hope you all got a good laugh out of that…I know I was tearing up while writing it I was laughing so hard…or maybe that's just my sense of humour. Anyways, remember to review:D And you can expect many more Basta shenanigans from me in the future. ;) **


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